Review: Counting the Cost

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Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn’t possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family’s way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle’s nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines. She didn’t protest the strict model of patriarchy that her family followed, which declares that men are superior, that women are expected to be wives and mothers and are discouraged from attaining a higher education, and that parental authority over their children continues well into adulthood, even once they are married.

But as Jill got older, married Derick, and they embarked on their own lives, the red flags became too obvious to ignore.

For as long as they could, Jill and Derick tried to be obedient family members—they weren’t willing to rock the boat. But now they’re raising a family of their own, and they’re done with the secrets. Thanks to time, tears, therapy, and blessings from God, they have the strength to share their journey. Theirs is a remarkable story of the power of the truth and is a moving example of how to find healing through honesty.

Genre: non-fiction

Publishing date: September 2023

Mature content: no

Review: I actually liked reading Counting the Cost. I never saw any of the older episodes of the 19 Kids and Counting series. I do remember seeing a few here and there of Counting On, but never on a regular basis as I rarely watch TV anyway. While I've never been a public figure, I do sympathize with Jill's problems with exposure, especially exposure of private trauma and abuse.

My personal opinion is that no child should be subject to this kind of public life, and it's sad that these shows thrive in our society these days. People think it's funny and interesting to dissect kid's lives, but they forget that these children are not given a choice, that one day they will grow and become adults and will never be able to take back what was shared for all the world to see. For some, it may not matter at all. Others will likely continue to expose themselves because that's the only life they know. But some may end up facing life long trauma, all because ten or twenty years before someone wanted to follow their lives 24/7. And on top of that, as this book clearly tells you, almost nothing you see in these reality shows is natural - it's all rehearsed and prepared to get the highest audience possible. 

In any case, I'm always cautious with this kind of books. While Counting the Cost is very well written, touches all the important points and made me stop and think about a lot of things along the way, there are always two sides of a story and both deserve to be told. 

Happy readings,

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